It’s that time again: the beginning of basketball season. Not coincidentally, it’s time for another regular occurrence: me disagreeing with pop culture columnist Bill “The Sports Guy” Simmons’s latest bout of ridiculous claims.
Simmons’ analysis of Shaq consisted of ten ‘red flags’ that suggested that he had no shot whatsoever at being an asset to the Cavs this season. Here are those ten red flags.
8. Shaquille O’Neal
Red flag No. 1: He’s 835 pounds. Red flag No. 2: He has never successfully pulled off the whole “sidekick” thing; even to the bitter end, he was playing the big brother/little brother routine with Dwyane Wade. Red flag No. 3: He’s splitting time with Zydrunas Ilgauskas, who might be a better fit for this particular team because of his outside shooting. Red flag No. 4: He has never, ever, ever, not in his entire life, played for a coach as offensively challenged as Mike Brown. Red flag No. 5: He doesn’t have the luxury of Phoenix’s training staff anymore. Red flag No. 6: He’s so fat that it’s like looking at one of those TVs where the HD is screwed up so it makes everyone seem wider. Red flag No. 7: The Suns traded him for two guys who they immediately bought out for a combined $14 million. Red flag No. 8: The Cavs are better off if he’s playing 15-20 minutes a game and that’s it. Red flag No. 9: He’s so fat that it’s possible Delonte West was packing three guns because he got confused and thought Shaq wanted to eat him. Red flag No. 10: He’s awfully close to some records, which will make it awkward if Cleveland tries to reduce his playing time.
Time for a good old-fashioned point-by-point refutation.
Red flag No. 1: He’s 835 pounds.
Red flag No. 6: He’s so fat that it’s like looking at one of those TVs where the HD is screwed up so it makes everyone seem wider.
Red flag No. 9: He’s so fat that it’s possible Delonte West was packing three guns because he got confused and thought Shaq wanted to eat him.
All that I’ve read so far from people who cover the Cavs on a consistent basis - Brian Windhorst, Chris Sheridan, even the usually oblivious Terry Pluto - is what great shape Shaq is in and how much energy he’s exhibited in the preseason games. Look at the photo at the top of this post and tell me if you think he looks enormously fat. Personally, I don’t see it. So I’m calling shenanigans on these first three points, especially since Simmons seems to be making his assertion based entirely off of one photo on the cover of a national magazine.
Red flag No. 2: He has never successfully pulled off the whole “sidekick” thing; even to the bitter end, he was playing the big brother/little brother routine with Dwyane Wade.
Oh, you mean “the bitter end” when he and Wade were at center court in Miami with the Larry O’Brien trophy? Yeah, that was a total failure. Too bad Shaq couldn’t get over his ego, or else they could’ve, you know, accomplished something.
Red flag No. 3: He’s splitting time with Zydrunas Ilgauskas, who might be a better fit for this particular team because of his outside shooting.
I love Z. I hope he retires a Cavalier. Everyone in the city roots for him. His outside shooting is excellent for a big man. The problem is that you can’t have your starting center’s main strength be outside shooting if you play another team that has a legitimate 5. We tried it last year against the Magic, and it didn’t work out so well when he had no ability to defend Da-wight one on one with anybody on our roster. The Cavs need a player like Shaq—not for 48 minutes a game, but certainly for a fraction of that.
Red flag No. 4: He has never, ever, ever, not in his entire life, played for a coach as offensively challenged as Mike Brown.
OK, this is probably true. But I’m fairly certain that having Shaq actually combats Coldstone’s offensive shortcomings, since when the offense gets stagnant, the Cavs now have the failsafe option of dumping it down to Shaq in the post or playing a 2-man game with him and Bron. Shaq has never been the type of guy who needs a play designed around him in order to put the ball in the hoop. The basics are enough some times when you can execute them well.
Red flag No. 5: He doesn’t have the luxury of Phoenix’s training staff anymore.
I know that Phoenix’s trainers are labeled as miracle-workers. But as every national announce team is required by law to remind us every time the Cavs play on national TV, it looked like Z was going to have to retire due to his chronic foot problems near the beginning of this decade. Since the 2002-3 season, though, he’s missed a total of 37 regular season games out of a possible 574. Ask yourself whether you can even think of another Cavs’ regular who’s missed significant time due to chronic injury since LeBron joined the team. The most problematic one I can think of is Boobie with his toe issues. But I think the Cavs’ general health over the course of the past several seasons at least suggests that our training staff— who Windhorst reported has specifically been talking to Phoenix’s training staff about how to keep Shaq healthy—is as capable as any other in the league.
Red flag No. 7: The Suns traded him for two guys who they immediately bought out for a combined $14 million.
Simmons has been writing for months about how NBA owners are hemmorhaging cash and saving money will drive more and more personnel decisions over the course of the next year. Suns owner Robert Sarver has been renowned for years as one of the cheapest owners in the league. Arguing that the Suns’ giving up Shaq to save money is a judgment on Shaq’s actual value as a player…it just doesn’t hold up. Especially when you consider that he doesn’t fit into Alvin Gentry’s revival of the “7 seconds or less” offensive game plan.
Red flag No. 8: The Cavs are better off if he’s playing 15-20 minutes a game and that’s it.
Clearly, Shaq is not going to play 15-20 minutes a game. He averaged 30 minutes per game last season in Phoenix and 28.7 minutes per game the prior season. He’s going to want to get his.
But given what we’ve all been reading about the Cavs’ preparing to play more small ball lineups, and with everyone knowing that Shaq is yet another year older, I don’t see him averaging much beyond 25 minutes a game in a Cavs uniform.
But the point is that if you’re going to make a claim like this, you should at least explain *why* you think the Cavs are better off with Shaq only playing 15-20 min per game. I’m assuming part of his argument is this zombie notion that Shaq will take up too much space in the post and thereby render LeBron ineffective. If so, I can think of a couple of elite perimeter players that Shaq has worked with effectively over the course of his career. The idea that the same combination won’t work just because LeBron is physically bigger than those other guys doesn’t register as great reasoning in my book.
He’s awfully close to some records, which will make it awkward if Cleveland tries to reduce his playing time.
Maybe true. But the record that Shaq cares the most about is getting championship #5. I’m willing to bet that he’ll put the individual stuff to the side for the pursuit of that bigger goal—especially since he believes he can play another 2 years in the league.
What does all this add up to? That until someone can offer me a good argument as to why Shaq won’t work, I am going to continue to believe he can.
The fun part is that starting tonight, we’ll all get to find out whethr it’s the haters of the believers who are right.
-T
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