March 15, 2010
The Accuracy of a Passer

In the fallout of the Body By Quinn trade, many, many people have referenced completion percentages when discussing Quinn’s accuracy - or lack thereof.

I wanted to amend these stats by saying that accuracy goes beyond completion percentage - sometimes a completed pass can still be inaccurate if the receiver makes a great, good, or even average catch. One thing to keep in mind is yards after the catch. If a pass is thrown perfectly, it can lead to a lot more yards after the catch than a pass that is too far off target for the receiver to do anything else but fall to the ground after he contorts his body to grab it. 

There are two levels of accuracy, I would argue - hitting the receiver at all and then hitting the receiver perfectly. 

I will spend the rest of the NFL offseason trying to come up with a name for each level. In the meantime, I think we can all confidently agree that Quinn and DA had neither. 

March 11, 2010
Goodbye DA, You Were Great For One Season (Or a Lot Longer Than Quinn Was)

*Photo is of DA’s wife’s friend, Sara Jean Underwood. Maybe this will make you like him more.

I knew the day was coming when DA would be released. I knew his time was probably up in Cleveland, even when I wrote my ode to the man from Oregon in October of last year.

And I’m okay with it.

This post won’t be about DA’s play during the regular season. Aside from a very good game against the Bengals, he wasn’t very good. I could write about how everything fell apart for DA once Braylon Edwards was traded and Jerome Harrison couldn’t recover from the pounding he took against Cincy. I could write about how Quinn wasn’t any better - except against the Lions. But this post isn’t meant to be stone cold analysis. It’s just meant to be a goodbye note, from one guy who writes too much to a guy who’s unemployed and looking for work.

I was happy to read DA’s response to Jeff Schudel’s email last night:

“The fans are ruthless and don’t deserve a winner. I will never forget getting cheered when I was injured. I knew at times I wasn’t great. I hope and pray I’m playing when my team comes to town [and] we roll them.”

The italics in the above quote are mine. He’s right. No one deserves to be cheered when they’re injured. Careers and lives could be hanging in the balance at that moment. No one in the stands knows. It’s unequivocally wrong to cheer when another person’s health has deteriorated … unless they’re evil.

DA may be a lot of things, but he isn’t evil.

If someone cheered when you were injured wouldn’t you be pissed? Wouldn’t you lash out if given the opportunity? Shouldn’t we, as fans, actually want our athletes to be angry when they’re insulted? That’s what the competitive spirit is all about. If DA has the will to destroy the Cleveland Browns and their fans, I applaud him.

Yes, Tim’s “Against Sportsmanship” post also applies here.

It’s this attitude, in fact, that makes me believe DA may have a successful future somewhere else. Maybe his desire to crush Browns fans will be the fuel that inspires him to continue getting better.

Alpha Dog may not even have been stretching the truth when he said: “[DA] did everything we asked of him and it was a pleasure to coach such a competitive person.”

Highlight on the word “competitive.”

I was additionally pleased with DA’s apology, which had nothing to do, really, with what he said but how he said it. He didn’t say he was misquoted. He didn’t say I didn’t mean what I said. He didn’t wimp out like so many other athletes. He merely noted that there were a lot of great people in Cleveland and even some fans who actually supported him (clearly a reference to JMID and Tim’s run-in with DA at Hopkins International in October).

In other words, I’m happy DA is gone. Not for my sake, but for his.

And I am just as happy to hear that the Browns have been offering Body By Quinn to other teams in trade talks.

November 17, 2009
The Browns Turn an Unprecedented Corner

For those who didn’t subject themselves to last night’s Browns / Ravens game, you missed out on something truly remarkable.

I am a fan of terrible movies — specifically those that are so bad that they transcend their own limitations and become true comedy.  Old-school movie people will point to flicks like Ed Wood’s infamous “Plan 9 from Outer Space,” but I personally prefer examples like Neil Labute’s remake of “The Wicker Man” (highlight reel here), the original “Blacula,” and possible all-time champion “Sleepaway Camp.”

In all cases, the people involved in these movies honestly try very hard to make something good — but either their understanding of what needs to be done to accomplish that feat is so far off-base, or their talent is so lacking, that their efforts become one hilarious train-wreck from beginning to end.

Tonight, the Browns’ offense officially became the athletic equivalent of one of these “so awful it’s entertaining” movies.

Now, every bad team will make a couple of really dumb plays per game. A lot of times those plays are funny. But never before have I seen an offense function so ineptly, play after play, for an entire game. And if you give up all expectation that the Browns have any chance of winning (they don’t), and you don’t take their general offensive incompetence as a black eye on the city or your heritage (it isn’t), and you can watch the game with that mindset…it’s really remarkably funny.

Rather than try to go through and dissect this debacle myself, here’s a summary of what some of the other analysts were saying tonight:

“I’ve been a part of some bad offenses, and I’ve watched a lot of other ones on film. But I think this Browns offense may be the worst I’ve ever seen.” - Trent Dilfer

“If you’re a real quarterback, you find a way to scratch it out in a game like this. After tonight, I’ve got a lot of questions about whether or not this guy [Quinn] is really an NFL caliber player.” - Steve Young

“I don’t know a lot about statistics, but one thing I do know about being an NFL quarterback is that you’ve got to be able to throw it between those two white lines.” - Jon Gruden after Quinn’s two consecutive 50 yard out-of-bounds throws in the 4th quarter

“The thing about teams that lose this badly…Look, I was on a team like this: the ‘86 Bucs. It was so bad in that locker room that I started thinking about whether or not I should go to law school.” - Steve Young, again

…and let’s also not lose sight of the fact that Quinn injured Terrell Suggs with a low block after an interception, which just reinforces my notion that we should pull a Rick Ankiel on the guy and convert him to a safety.

Browns / Lions this Sunday. I’m telling you, clear your mind and go in expecting mayhem. If you can, you’re in for a hell of an entertaining three hours.

-T

October 8, 2009
InadeQuinn Might Be On His Way Out

I think Brady wants out…

“Quarterback Brady Quinn said he was wearing Edwards’ shoes at practice as a tribute to him.

‘[Braylon’s] a great player, a good teammate and a good friend. I can’t do anything but wish him the best,’ Quinn said.”

Looks like an open act of defiance to Alpha Dog to me.

October 4, 2009
I Don’t Want To Say We Told You So, But…

Today, the Browns looked like a real football team. They lost the game, but there was reason to be encouraged.

Yes, there were too many dropped passes. Yes, there was D.A.’s interception at the goal line. Yes, there was some conservative play calling when the team got a lead.

But the team moved the ball, they stopped the Bengals on multiple occasions, they scored touchdowns…

But it’s too late.

This game would’ve meant a lot more had it been Week 1 or Week 2. Now the Browns are 0-4, not 0-1, or 0-2, or even 0-3.

In other words, had Alpha Dog started D.A. in Week 1, we’d all feel better right now than we do.

The season is all but lost - let’s see if D.A. can help Mangini save the regime. And finally, please don’t overemphasize interceptions…they aren’t good, I agree, but if a QB can’t move the ball then it really doesn’t matter. Sometimes you can’t succeed if you don’t take risks, and you don’t make mistakes.

Brett Favre, who’s only had one losing season in his career…I see you.